Klingon Medicare fraud gangs: an emerging threat?

by Ben Vernia | October 22nd, 2010

As part of the large Medicare fraud case DOJ announced on October 13, federal agents executed a search warrant on a home in New Jersey. According to a New York Times blog report, among the items seized were Klingon martial arts weapons:

There are at least six pistols in the photograph, and several rifles and shotguns.

But there is more: throwing stars, the preferred weapon of television ninjas, are seen in the picture, along with brass knuckles, a collapsible baton and what appears to be a three-piece set of nunchucks of the sort Jet Li wielded mercilessly in the 2006 film “Fearless.”

And in the left-center of the picture, there is a truly fearsome looking thing: a sword of sorts, but with four blades and three handles, instead of the usual one apiece. It looks complicated enough to be a threat to both its target and its user.

* * *

Behold: the Volkoth Battle Sword.

The sword seems to be part of the Volkoth Armory for the Alien Warrior, a series of weapons designed for use by Klingons, that bumpy-foreheaded race of aliens that populated the various “Star Trek” shows and films. A company named United Cutlery produced the blade, and replicas are considered collectible. One was on eBay Friday with an asking price of 94.95 human dollars. A vice president at United Cutlery said she could not tell from the picture whether it was real or a knockoff.

(It perhaps resembles, to the human eye, the better known Bat’leth, but the structure is quite different from its single-bladed Klingon cousin.)

(Equally disconcerting was what looks an awful lot like a Fang of Baelin — “Forged from the fangs and armor of the Baelin,” according to its creator’s Web site, “a great beast created by the Dark One to guard his treasure hoards” — that is also in the picture, but it is too small to tell.)

The Klingon language has no known terms for “healthcare fraud,” suggesting that – if prohibited at all – the crime might be viewed as malum prohibitum rather than malum in se on the Klingon home planet, Qo’noS. (The closest translation is “Hergh newpI'”, meaning “medicine liar.”)

Thanks to AUSA Becky Rohr for pointing out this nascent danger.

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